Help Your Self

Imagine that you have received a banker's draft in the post. It has been authorised, but the amount has been left blank. With it is a letter that says:

“Dear [your name], I have sent you this bankers draft as a token of our friendship. I have left the amount blank, because your friendship is priceless to me. Fill it in for whatever amount you like, and enjoy it with my blessings.”

Stop & write down the amount you would make out the banker's draft for. Important: actually write the amount down.

How much did you write down? This is one of the exercises we do on The Art of Being, and a funny thing happens. Some people write down zero, some people write down fifty or one hundred pounds. Some people write down hundred of thousands or millions of pounds.

The people who say they would make it out for a tiny amount always have an excellent reason for doing so. They say that either they don’t know anyone who could afford that, or they wouldn’t feel comfortable getting it without knowing who it’s from.

There are always reasons, but what the exercise reveals is this: The number is what you are willing to receive unconditionally. The reasons people come up with for not receiving it are excuses to justify the fact that they are not comfortable receiving unconditionally.

(Courtesy of Jamie Smart's Salad NLP service)

This one is for our younger readers. And their parents.

And anyone concerned about the teeth-gnashing, ear-rending byproducts of sibling rivalry.

According to Anthony Kane, MD, sibling rivalry is GOOD. And without it, all the self help in the world will be less effective.

It teaches conflict resolution, and how to handle a world that is not fair.

All is revealed in this article.

The good folk at the Mindware Forum alerted me to this, but the real credit goes to those behind the Inner Peace organisation.

The Inner Peace web site is a growing collection of self-help tools to help you have more inner peace in your life. Inner Peace is Forever Free Software and Open Source Software Licensed under the GNU General Public License of the Free Software Foundation, Inc.

You can try some of the InnerPeace applications online or download their software.

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Five years ago, Jon Benson was sick, fat and slowly dying.

Today he's so fit and healthy it's almost sickening - for others.

When you've got the proof - the before and after photos are here - you've got two things going for you.

One is untold energy.

The other is a passion to help others tap into the same source.

And it's the same source that can help you achieve whatever you like in your self improvement ambitions.

The secret? Role modeling.

It's the core of NLP and ancient self help techniques that have proven themselves over and over again.

But what Jon did was rather neat.

"Why not compile an entire book full of role models and let them write about their own transformations - in their own words - to serve as examples, to educate and to motivate other people?" he thought.

And you should see the examples he's found!

In his own case, he says the results included:

'My body fat decreased from 38% to 9%
My muscle mass skyrocketed by 14 pounds
My strength almost doubled
My waist quickly shrank from 44 to 33
My aerobic capacity increased
My blood pressure dropped
My resting heart rate fell from 98 to 59
My hormones evened out.
At age 40, I achieved the best shape of my life!'

Worth watching.

(Incidentally, he's offering a $1200 bonus of e-books, audio MP3’s, e-courses and special reports if you 'test drive' his course between Wednesday, February 23rd and Friday, February 25th).

From the University of Hertfordshire comes the news that babies born in May are luckier than those who started life in other months.

More than 40,000 people submitted their birthdays to researchers and rated the degree to which they saw themselves as lucky or unlucky.

Those born between March and August considered themselves luckier than people born between September and February.

The percentage of "lucky" births rose during the spring, peaking in May, and dropping off again in Autumn.

Psychologist Professor Richard Wiseman, from the University of Hertfordshire, who led the research as part of the Edinburgh International Science Festival, said:

"The effect might be due to changes in how some parents interact with their babies during summer and winter, but we won't know for certain until we have conducted additional research."

Half of those born in May fell into the "lucky" bracket. This figure dropped to 43% in the unluckiest month, October.

But as readers of this blog know, the good news for winter-borns is that people can improve their luck ... simply by being more optimistic and making the most of the opportunities that come their way.

So yes, there you are ... you can be born lucky.

Yeah, right. Help yourself, eh?

Thought I would. Make my life easier and yours better. So I started digging into this whole blogging thing.

And what did I find? You betcha! Worms. Cans a worms.

And I ain't no gardener.

Back soon!

Hi

Good to be here. But I have that feeling that I need to make this my place. Know what I mean?

Laurie's put up a lot of good info, and I'll try to continue that (better not say 'improve' it, had I? Or should I!)

Anyway, a bit of housekeeping first. A few changes to make, and then I'll get into some postings.

See you soon.

Well, yesterday's experiment seemed to work. Not too many time-wasters in the box after all. Or was it my new approach?

Anyway, I've been thinking about that - and its extensions and ramifications. And decided to do something about it.

After all, you can have all the knowledge in the world (well, imagine!) but unless you take action, it's really not worth a heck of a lot, is it? Self help rules!

So this will probably be my last blog entry. I'll hand over the reins to Lyn Devon. It's not a big task, but it is something that remains on my mind most of each day.

You will be in good hands, I assure you.

Thank you for the support you've provided since we started.

And allow me to wish you everything you deserve in your self help endeavours. Au revoir.

Today I tried something different.

Instead of starting my day by going through my email Inbox (and possibly spending several hours dealing with its contents) I decided to do my most pressing tasks.

Here it is, 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and I still have no idea what's in that inbox. (A bit scary, actually!)

But .... BUT ... the BIG task I've been pushing all week is DONE! Lock, stock and barrel. Complete.

I just might have to make a habit of it. (Despite what's lurking in the inbox!)

Most self improvement enthusiasts have come across the Norman Cousens story of how he laughed himself back from terminal illness.

Well now, it seems, the 'laughter gland' has even more power than just saving lives!

How about opening parallel dimensions?

University of Queensland (Australia) researcher Professor Jack Pettigrew has described just that in the current issue of the journal Clinical and Experimental Optometry.

You know those optical illusions - the Necker cube, the young woman/old woman etc?

Well apparently what happens normally is that the brain sends alternate messages from each eye, very rapidly - a process known as binocular rivalry. So people just don't see the two versions of the illusions at the same time.

They have to focus, first on one, then on the other.

But when you laugh, the images blend together and the illusion is lost, leaving just a flat 2D image.

"If you can see both images together, you can be pretty sure you're seeing from both hemispheres at the same time," Professor Pettigrew said.

"It's a surprisingly large affect from such a banal phenomenon."

Just think about that for a moment.

Laughter can transform brain function.

If you really need proof, just think about the last time you had an uproarious laughing exchange, and how the ideas spontaneously popped into your head and out of your mouth.

And now imagine the possibilities of harnessing that 'banal phenomenon' to jet-propel your self help and self improvement...

Is that exciting, or what?

A note from David Cameron provides food for thought:

As you probably know, wholeness is the quintessential "force" for getting what you really want out of life.

When congruency is reached, your whole being is renewed. You've got more energy, health and vitality. You can see problems before they come because your creativity is boosted. And because you own high self-esteem, you lead more effectively and you sell more abundantly.

The problem is that you don't gain this kind of mastery overnight.

Jack Canfield, the founder of Self-Esteem Seminars and the co- creator of the New York Times #1 best-selling Chicken Soup for the Soul, said:

"What we know is, if, when you hit that plateau, you keep practicing, practicing, practicing-- all of a sudden, whoop!: up you go to a new plateau. But most people don't sustain it long enough to get there. That takes patience."

No matter what kind of methods and techniques you use to get success, if you don't have an effective strategy or plan, you're not going to make any progress.

Have you heard of the Necessary Voices Society?

It's a non-profit society aiming "to promote civil dialogue on essential issues of the day, encouraging responsible
citizenry and democratic participation".

One of their outlets is the Necessary Voices Online Audio Lectures. Click the link below and you'll probably be quite surprised at the variety and depth of the material they're offering to the world for free.

One of the offerings is entitled 'The Dalai Lama and Mind Science'.

Victor Chan discusses the latest advances from the two-decades-long collaboration between the Dalai Lama and top neuro-scientists and implications for our mental and physical well-being.

Chan met the Dalai Lama more than 30 years ago on a trip to India, where the holy man was in exile.

Over the next three decades Chan became a frequent visitor and confidante, the first person from China to enter the Dalai Lama's inner circle since the Chinese government seized Tibet in 1959.

The link leads to two talks by Victor Chan, two by the Dalai Lama and many more.

If one of the things you want to help yourself with is your finances, these figures might interest you.

Marketing Sherpa says that affiliate marketing is a $14 billion industry.

Forrester Research expects affiliate marketing to grow to approximately $230 billion by 2008.

There's a free 500 page affiliate marketing guide available at
Online Home Based Business - click the link at the bottom of the page marked "Marketing for Affiliate Programs".

The saying is old, but the truth is enduring: "Ride the wave, don't fight it".

The people of Tokelau (a tiny island nation in the remotest patch of the Pacific Ocean) are completely dependant on the Intelsat 804 satellite for communication.

Or, were.

A month ago, the 804 disappeared from the sky. Intelsat, the satellite telecommunication provider, could no longer control it.

Intelsat therefore lost more then $US70million.

The people of Tokelau lost all contact with the rest of the world.

No phone, no fax, no Internet. And no way of knowing what was happening.

Thousands of miles away, New Zealand radio, which also broadcasts on long-distance short-wave radio, started transmitting an hourly request to the islands of Tokelau, instructing them to power the special emergency satellite phone, which has its own antenna link to another type of satellite.

After three days of broadcasting, the people of Tokelau picked up this signal and turned on the emergency satellite phone.

With the help of the Network Operations Center of Intelsat, the regular satellite phone connection could be restored by pointing the large antenna dish towards another satellite of Intelsat.

Technicians of Dot TK are working closely with Intelsat to get the Internet connection on all three islands working again. This will hopefully be finalized in the next couple of days.

Dot TK is the sole income-earner for the islands' economy. That's where the self help comes in.

They've created an international domain registration service which offers free and paid domain names. Anyone in the world can register at Dot TK. And that income allows their people to survive.

Life on Tokelau is usually filled with peace and tranquility. In many ways, it is a simple life.

However, because of its isolation and lack of industry, it is also a very poor nation.

If it is to ever become self-sufficient, Tokelau needs advanced communications, education and medical care.

It is the primary goal of Dot TK and the Tokelau Internet Project to bring these advances to Tokelau.

Dot TK has an 'Ambassador' program a little like an affiliate program. They show their gratitude to Ambassadors by rewarding them with special recognition and with "virtual fish".

On Tokelau, fishing is a full time job and fish are a valuable commodity. So the Ambassador Reward Program is quite in keeping with the culture! Any 'fish' earned can be exchanged in their "Barter Market".

You can get the full story, and help them to help themselves, by going to http://dot.tk/

Have you ever tried to model yourself?

Plot exactly how you you did something successfully so you could do it again, perhaps in a different context?

Most people simply can't do it. Not because of any incapacity, but because we're not made that way.

Our whole system is geared to making as many processes as possible unconscious so we don't have to consciously worry about them.

Which makes sense. Otherwise we'd be overwhelmed in 5 seconds flat. Just think: adjust the blood pressure, compress the lungs - no not that far! - listen for the next octave in their rising voice ...

Not going to happen!

One set of tools that does allow you to model yourself - or anyone else - is NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming.

It's a fascinating topic that you could spend a lifetime learning and finessing. And applicable in just about any sphere of human endeavour.

If you ever get the chance, at least take the free introductory classes trainers sometimes offer.

It's difficult - but not impossible - to learn from books and audio visuals, but a live training event is highly recommended.

Do it for yourself!

Subliminal messages have been around since before time made it into print - it's how babies of any species learn their first motor skills.

But when advertisers began using them to boost cereal sales by 60% in 1974 the U.S. Government banned them on TV and radio.

The technique works to control behaviour. So why not do a bit of self help and apply it to whatever habits you'd like to change?

You can buy tapes and courses, but here's a cheaper (if slightly anti-social) way.

Write down a couple of goals you'd like to concentrate on as simple, short, positive affirmations - such as 'I am a quick swimmer' or 'I am ready to quit smoking'.

Now write that, clearly and in thick black marker pen, onto a sheet of white cardboard. Create several cards, each with affirmations focusing on your theme, and store them next to your bed with a flashlight.

Set your alarm clock for 3am, then go to sleep as normal. As soon as you hear the ring, turn off the alarm and pick up the
affirmation cards and your flashlight.

Flick the flashlight on and off very quickly a dozen times over each affirmation card. While doing this, stare at the cards. Do not consciously try to make out the words. These subliminal messages are for the subconscious.

When you're done, simply turn off the flashlight, put down the cards and return to sleep. It will take just two minutes ... and you'll fall straight back into deep and restful sleep.

After the first few nights, most people report problem-solving dreams that assist in their goals or influence their decisions.

Just a week later and practically all participants note a serious
movement toward their core goal.

The change is happening... from within.

In chasing up a report in another blog today I ended up on a hop hop hop to somewhere I'd never been.

Yes, I know, that's what wastes so much time on the Net. And it's one of the addictive qualities, too.

But what struck me in the self help mode of this was the way people are carving out whole new industries in the communication sector.

Not leading edge in the sense of the technology itself - although that's happening too - but in adapting what works in existing communication modes to the new media.

In a way it's incremental development, yet in a parallel universe. And the predecessors no doubt go way back.

For instance, if we use the coach business as a parallel. Greyhound buses simply updated and replicated Cobb and Co coaches. Not just the transport, but the eateries, terminals, fuel suppliers - the whole caboodle.

Now how easy an 'innovation' is that?

Now we have RSS appearing on and alongside web sites and email. Until now, an 'untrackable' marketing channel.

And you guessed it - at least two products released this month have updated and replicated what web and email analytics outfits have been doing for years.

Simple model. Great potential.

This morning I attended a meeting. Of a self-help group. And listened to 90% negative comments.

I was so intrigued at how counter-productive people could be that I just listened.

How could they do that to themselves?

Yet, there they were, going at it hammer and tongs. And from the tales told, that was the norm - it had been going on for 20 years.

Reminded me of a conversation overhead at a cafe a month or so back. The speaker was rubbishing a newly-formed local group. It would 'never work' - because they wouldn't do what he told them to do.

Hello!! When you're the only one in step, it just might be time to start your own parade. Mightn't it?

Did you ever consider that you get what you choose?

Frightening, isn't it? Or is it?

Depends what you've chosen, doesn't it?

Your happiness depends on what you decide to notice.

So here's an exercise you might like to turn into a habit:

Step 1: Look for one quality in every person you meet.
Step 2: Give them a compliment ...

Not flattery - something sincere.

Compliment them on the sense of what they just said, or the sparkle in their eyes ... and say it with pleasure.

Doing so will not only make their day, but there's self help involved too - because to pay compliments, you have to focus on the positive!

So it makes you happier!

Silver linings are where you find them. And sometimes they simply find you.

Today I was doing something for someone else, with no thought of any return it might bring.

And the more I got into it, the more I began to realise just what an opportunity I had unwittingly uncovered.

Plenty for me - and for my friend.

The opportunity is there. Now it will depend on a dose of self help to turn it into a benefit for either of us.

Have we already found the silver lining ... or is that yet to come?

Can you relate to this?:

"Bad days. They're like pimples. They pop up unexpectedly. Nobody wants them but everyone has them. And some have them more than others. Mine seem to appear during a full moon. Is it any wonder that wolves howl at the moon?"
-- Jon Gordon

Fortunately, Jon has 5 Action Steps for breaking the cycle:
1. Don't drown in bad day emotions.
2. When possible avoid major decisions.
3. Exercise.
4. Treat yourself.
5. Be thankful.

How do you handle such occasions?

No matter what the activity is - particularly if it's something new you want to introduce into your lifestyle - finding the time is one of the biggest battles.

The simple reality is that if you try to find the time you won't. You will have to make the time.

For instance, if you want to get fit, you will need at least three 20-30 minute sessions of increased heart rate activity each week for cardiovascular development, less time for flexibility and strength.

You will need enthusiasm and commitment. Exercising with friends may help, particularly during the initial month to six weeks where there is little apparent return on your time investment.

The same goes for other self help activities. Split up the range of activities involved, allowing each the proportion of time to do it justice, then schedule it into your week.

And don't move on until you've done it!